The Fruit of the Spirit: Self Control

By Robb Brunansky

Published August 7, 2025

For many, self-control is the most difficult virtue of the Spirit’s fruit. Our society has, for the most part, given up on modeling self-control. What used to be considered a virtue is now labeled restrictive, legalistic, controlling, old-fashioned, and even foolish. Our culture tells us: “Be controlled by self, don’t control yourselves. Whatever impulses, desires, feelings, and thoughts you have, follow, do, and indulge those.”

As Christians, we must not follow the world down a path of self-indulgence. In fact, faithful obedience to Jesus requires self-control. A Christian who lacks self-control will find his sanctification short-circuited and his holiness hindered. Many Christian virtues are connected to self-control, which raises a few questions, starting with, What is self-control?

Self-control is mastery over natural desires and is produced by the Spirit in all believers. There are two crucial elements here. The first is that self-control is produced by the Spirit in all believers. We must understand the fruit is the ability to control oneself. However, the power is not self-generated, but Spirit-generated, self-control.

This distinction is important, separating a display of self-control from pagan concepts of deprivation and ascetic lifestyles. Self-control comes from the Spirit of God, not from some humanly devised rituals or masochistic treatment of oneself. The distinction also reminds us we are responsibly dependent on God. Though we are responsible to master our natural desires, we cannot do any of these actions on our own.

Our definition also states that self-control is mastery over natural desires, which connote sinful or human desires. Self-control means mastery over every kind of desire we have, whether it is a desire that is inherently evil, such as the desire for revenge when wronged; or whether it is a desire that is morally neural. What we must understand about morally neutral desires, though, is that these can become sinful when indulged beyond what is necessary and reasonable. If we do not control even the normal, human desires, those will overtake and enslave us.

As we see from our Lord’s teaching, the self-indulgent person gives in to whatever impulses he feels. Jesus said this reality characterized the Pharisees. They were self-indulgent, thieving hypocrites, who did not control their desires; their desires controlled them.

The next question to consider is, Why is self-control necessary?

Most of us understand that some self-control is necessary, but the level we are willing to accept as self-control is far too low. For most people, keeping their desires generally in check is good enough, but that’s not biblical self-control, which is mastery over natural desires. So, why would we learn to master our desires?

The first reason is that it’s one of the reasons Jesus died (Titus 2:11-14). We must master our natural desires so they submit and conform to Jesus Christ’s desires. Jesus died, not so we would be zealous to indulge our desires, but so we would be zealous to do His will. If we treasure the cross, we will also treasure its purpose. And if we love the cross, we will want to learn to master our desires for these to submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Our Savior went to the cross to purify us, teach us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires, and make us eager to do good deeds that glorify His name.

The second reason we must learn to master our desires is that it will ensure fruitfulness (2 Peter 1:5-8). When we cultivate the virtues of the Fruit of the Spirit, such as self-control, we will be useful and fruitful in our knowledge of Christ. What good is it if we know all the right things to say, do, and think, but have not mastered our desires? We will never be able to use that knowledge for anything useful or fruitful. Thankfully, the fruit of the Spirit is self-control, and as we learn this virtue, we ensure fruitfulness and usefulness in Christ’s kingdom.

The third reason is that it prepares us for Jesus’ coming (Romans 13:11-14). If we want to be ready when salvation is consummated, when the resurrection of the dead takes place, then we must practice self-control now. We should lay aside wickedness and every natural desire that violates the law of Christ. Make no provision for the flesh or its desires. Jesus is nearer to coming now than when we believed.

So, how can we learn self-control?

The answer to this question is where the rubber meets the road. We can talk about self-control, but we must implement this mastery over our desires in our lives. The Apostle Paul gives us three steps to learn this focus (1 Corinthians 9:25).

The first step is to focus on the goal. Paul reminds the Corinthians that they exercise self-control for an imperishable reward. As Christians, we should remember why we discipline ourselves and learn self-control, and why this is important. When we get tired and when we want to indulge the flesh, we must remember where we are going and why we are going there. We should focus on the goal. Like a traveler or athlete, if we are not focused on the destination, we will not have self-control.

The second step is to recognize the effort that is mandated for self-control. Exhibiting self-control will not be easy, and it will require great effort at tremendous cost. When others are enjoying leisure, we may be in prayer. While others are sleeping, we may be reading the Word of God. While others are enjoying a free evening, we may be discipling someone or serving in ministry. While others are eating, we may be fasting. While others are purchasing the latest fashions, we may be supporting the ministry of the gospel. Nevertheless, these examples of self-control are worth it. We stay focused on the prize, and we recognize the effort required.

As Paul told Timothy, great effort is required to walk the Christian life, but this exercise holds promise, not only for this life, but the life to come (1 Timothy 4:7-8). The strenuous exertion is worth it.

For those who are now exhausted, here’s a little relief. Start where we are. A good exercise program will always allow us to start where we are and work our way up. That’s what we need to do spiritually. If we currently have very little self-control, recognize the need to grow. Realize, though, that jumping into a severe regimen might be a little too much at once.

Here are some suggestions to help cultivate the virtue of self-control in our lives:

• If we’re not serving in ministry because of physical exhaustion, other interests, or whatever other reason, just pick one thing to do and start with that – even temporarily.
• Maybe we have no self-control when it comes to money, and so we don’t give to the Lord’s work – or only give sporadically. Recognize the problem and take a step in the right direction. Learn how to handle money to give generously and faithfully as we grow in our self-control.

There are many other areas we could address: time management, Bible reading, prayer, diet, and so on. If we are not exercising mastery over our desires, take one step in the right direction. Then master that step and take another. We will be amazed at how the Spirit grows self-control in our lives when we are obedient step by step, day by day, and moment by moment.

If we would be obedient to Christ and carry out His desires and not our natural impulses and desires from the flesh, we must learn self-control. May we as believers increase the self-control over our natural desires as can only be done through the Spirit, so that we live for our Lord in everything we think, do, and say.